10 May 2011

blogging and God's awesomeness, part 2

It has once again been a long time since I wrote. It's not that I don't want to write, because I do. I'll think of something that I want to share with you that happened that day and what it made me think about. But when I sit down to write, the words don't come. I fought this at first; its hard to have something that you want to share but not be able to share it.

So here I am, actually writing for the first time in over two months. In my last post, I realized that I had become so focused on my glory that I lost sight of God's glory with this blog. I have done a lot of soul searching since then, trying to figure out whether my time as a blogger was finished, learning what my talents are.

I honestly believe that this blog is my service for God right now. It's my way of sharing what I am learning about God and my relationship with him. My mission field per say. Just like missionaries need breaks to not become burnt out and lose their focus, I needed the same. There has been so much hard stuff going on in my life recently that I had burnt out and lost my focus.

I'm not sure when I'll write again. I know that this is not the end of this blog, in fact, I would say it is a beginning of sorts, a beginning of honest talks, with no BS allowed.

Abba, I want to keep my eyes on Jesus, through the easy times and the hard times. I know I've messed up. I looked away and just as Peter started sinking when he doubted his ability to walk in the steps of his Rabbi (walk on water), I started sinking. I'm grabbing your hand, Jesus, I need you. In your name I pray, Amen.