27 January 2011

seeing and acceptance

So I'm going to share some really personal details about my romantic relationships (love life, boys, any other similar term) or lack thereof. I have had one boyfriend. That's it. I've never had any friends with benefits, or one night stands or made out with a random stranger or anything else that is like that. That's not to say that I haven't had my fair share of crushes. :) Honestly, most of the time, I am completely okay with being the single gal. Sometimes though, it can be hard.

Recently, I've seen a good number of my friends start dating, either another friend or somebody else. And even though I am super happy for each of them, at the same time it brings up a lot of my issues of self-worth. Sometimes all I want is for one solid, fantastic man to see me for all that I am and realize that I am perfect for him, just the way I am. Then tonight, I was thinking about that and I realized something.

There is somebody who sees me and wants me just as I am. In the first chapter of John, verse 47 and 48 the author (John) writes about when Jesus calls Philip and Nathanael. Listen to this, "When Jesus saw Nathanael approaching, he said of him, 'Here truly is an Israelite in whom there is no deceit.' 'How do you know me?' Nathanael asked. Jesus answered, 'I saw you while you were still under the fig tree before Philip called you.'" At first glance, this may seem like its not a big deal, however if we skip over it, we miss something important. My bible study leader, J, put it this way. When Jesus said to Nathanael "I saw you while you were still under the fig tree," its like he's saying, "I see you. I know every little thing that you do, especially the little things that nobody else notices. I appreciate you for those things. I accept you just as I see you."

He's saying that to you and me right now. He wants us to come to him when we're hurting, when we're scared, when we're feeling under-appreciated, when we are feeling alone, when we feel like nobody understands us, when it seems like our world is falling apart, when we've met someone special, when we are wanting to be loved for who we are, when we want to be seen. 

[your name here] said, "Where did you get that idea? You don't know me."
Jesus answered, "One day, long before Philip called you here, I saw you under the fig tree." ~ John 1:48 The Message (Emphasis added by blogger)