17 April 2010

wellness and excuses

Almost four weeks ago, my mom and I were in a three car accident (we were the middle car). Since then I have had a lot of back and neck pain and so I've started going to a chiropractor in order to get some relief. I know I don't want to deal with this pain for the rest of my life.

Now, I don't bring this up because I want to get pity or attention about my accident but rather because I realized something recently that goes along with it really well. A talk at the Annex  several weeks ago was titled "What Do You Really Want" and it was based on John 5:1-8 (I suggest listening to the talk which you can find here). It made me think a lot about what I would say if Jesus were to come up to me tomorrow and ask me, "Do you want to get well?"

I've had a lot of medical issues in my life and so I have an inkling of what the man from the Bible passage has gone through. If Jesus were to ask me if I wanted to get well, I wouldn't hesitate for a second! I would shout a loud resounding YES! Taking the pain and horribleness (yes, that is a word...at least it is in my dictionary) that goes with it would make life so much better. With my back pain right now, I would shout a loud YES if Jesus were to ask me.

So why, when Bill angled the same exact question towards mental/spiritual/emotional sickness such as partying, eating disorders, etc, did I pause? Why is it so much more difficult to want to be well from sin than to be well from physical pain? Isn't that just a different kind of sickness, the heart kind? Why is it that we continually come up with excuses for not immediately saying yes? Look at the man in the passage, he has an excuse. Do we come up with reasons why we don't want to not be physically sick anymore? "Oh well actually I don't want you to make this flu go away. I mean, the puking is good practice for something... like being pregnant some day" I mean really, who even does that?? And yet each of us, including me for sure, make excuses of why we have to hold onto our sicknesses - our partying, our raunchy movies/music/tv/magazines, our gossiping, our jealousy, our little white lies. Life can be.  so.  much.  better.

Jesus, I need to want to get well. I know I can't get to that point of actually wanting it without you. Help me to stop giving excuses for why I can't get well. And Jesus, just as I wouldn't hesitate at all if you were to ask me if I wanted to get well from my back pain, help me to have the same kind of response when you ask me if I want to get well from my heart sickness, a loud resounding YES!

No comments:

Post a Comment