power and surrender

I think God is trying to tell me something. There is this certain phrase that keeps coming up again and again in songs. Have you ever experienced that? The hard part is that I don't know what to do about it. The thing that I originally thought it was about, I wouldn't be able to do until two summers from now (2012) and somehow I don't think that is what God has in mind. I guess in a way I'm nervous about what His plan is. I have this inkling that I'm going to have a period of struggle and surrender with Him. Why is it so difficult to surrender completely to God. Is it the idea of giving up control and power? If so, what is so thrilling about having that power and control? I was talking this semester with one of my good guy friends, we shall call him Rhys, about this. One thing that he said that has stuck with me is that for him, its the desire to have influence in people's lives - for people listen to him and do what he asks. But how much more influence could he have if he surrendered that power and control to God. I mean think of Jesus! He had surrendered completely to his Father and look at the power that he was able to use for the glory of his Father (the miracles). Maybe I'm just rambling on and I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm still not sure what total and complete surrender of every part of my life looks like and I'm still not sure what God wants me to do with what he's telling me but I do know that I desire to surrender to Him and to follow his plan.

Here I am, Lord send me. I'll go where you send me.