quarters, buckets, and playing the victim

Today I turned 24 years old.

Now, I know, some people may say that I am really young still while others would feel like I am quite old.

And I think I would agree with both.

There are parts of me that feels quite young; there are so many things that I have never experienced. Yet at the same time, I've been through experiences that I don't think any 20-something plans on going through.

So, here I am feeling both old and young at the same time. But that was not the goal and that means I've once again become distracted (it happens more often than I would like to admit).

I am 364 days from being half a century old. And there are so many things that I want to do yet I sit and complain about how I can't do anything because of my past illnesses. When someone asks why I haven't traveled outside of the US like I claim I want to, I use my illnesses as an excuse.

Why do I do that? 

Why do I make myself the victim to my life experiences?

Why do I put myself in the passive position of not having control in my life? 

I'm not sure of the answer to those questions. But maybe it's not about having the answers to every question. I'm choosing to not sit and ponder those questions. I'm choosing to act.

Which leads me to my announcement. Today, October 16, 2013, marks the first day of my new quest to be active in my own life and not let my illnesses continue to hold me down.

I'm calling it Quarters In A Bucket.

My short-term goal is to accomplish as many items on my bucket list as possible before I turn 25.
Long-term, my goal is to change my habit of inaction and excuses into a habit of action and freedom.

Here is to a year of change, action, and freedom.

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery. - Galatians 5:1(NIV)