medicating and dashes

Why is it that we medicate the uncomfortableness? Why is that we medicate and drown, and drug instead of sitting in the awkward, and often, painful moment where every fiber in your body is telling you that something is not right? Why is it so difficult to face the fact that there is something broken in our lives?

We medicate by flipping the channel until we find a show that makes us laugh or horrified or sentimental. And the second that it is no longer giving us that "high," we flip the channel to the next "drug."

We medicate by going out every single weekend, running ourselves into the ground in order to make sure that we are doing "life" right with money and interesting hobbies and a glamorous career and a confident fashion sense and the perfect partner and the "best" kids and… When does it stop?

What has happened to quietness? To stillness? To not doing anything? To being uncomfortable? To resting?

I don't have the answers. I am caught in this cycle too. But I want out. I want to start caring about the people around me. I want to know and be known. I want to be uncomfortable at times. I want to acknowledge what is broken in my life. I want to admit that I don't have it all together, that I struggle with taking risks.

Maybe that is my whole point. Maybe what I am trying to express is that there has to be more to life than just drowning out the imperfections. 

There is this saying that on your tombstone there will be two dates on it with a dash in the middle and that the dash is our living. So, what will your "dash" look like? If the dash took on the characteristics of your living, what would it look like? Would it be long and thin? Or maybe a fat, squiggly line? Maybe a double line? Would it be a colored dash? Or a sparkly one? What about a simple black line? Whatever your living, your dash, looks like, let's not drug and drown out the entire experience. 

Just one more thought about the whole living without the medicating. I'm learning that in order to make the most of my living without medicating, I have to do less. I have to set aside time to be quiet, and still, and even be uncomfortable.

But it is worth it.

And on that note, I'm going to find some quiet.

out of sorts and time away

Do you ever have one of those days where everything just feels out of sorts? Today was one of those days. Maybe it was because of the stress of knowing that finals are a week away. Or maybe it was guilt for not getting to church for the third week in a row. Or maybe it was a combination of things, I'm not going to stress out about why today was an out-of-sorts day. That would be a pointless exercise.

One of the best techniques I learned during my year from hell was to be still amidst the turmoil. Maybe that is what I need to do. Instead of predicting how well I need to do on my exams and projects, instead of planning out when to do each assignment, instead of freaking out because the day is basically over with nothing to show for it, instead of focusing on the out-of-sort-ness I am going to choose to be still, quiet, and let God romance me. He has a way of working out the kinks in everything.

May you take time to be still and let Love fight the kinks out.



“Step out of the traffic! Take a long, loving look at me, your High God, above politics, above everything.”    ~ Psalm 46:10(MSG)

busyness and restoration

I don't know how many people read this. But I want to apologize for not writing for almost a month now. This semester started off super duper crazy, busy, and stressful. I know that's a horrible reason for not keeping up with this but it will have to be good enough because that's all I got. Once I get my life organized and calmed down, I will post again. (I have plenty of ideas running around in my head, I just haven't had the time to put them down on "paper.")

Have you ever heard the saying that Satan gave us busyness to keep us from growing in our relationships with God? That is sooo true. Right now with everything else in my life screaming for attention, God's quiet whisper is easily drowned out. Last night at the Annex, Jennie talked about being a person filled with the Holy Spirit and how our lives should look different once we accept Jesus as our Savior. In her talk, she mentioned two obstacles that get in the way of being completely changed with the Spirit in our lives: comfort and volume.

Answer this question, do you ever multitask? I would guess that nearly every single person has multitasked at some point in their life, especially if you live in the United States and are just the least bit tech savvy. Jennie asked when was the last time you had a long, deep conversation with a friend without any interruptions - no friends barging in, no texting, no answering phone calls, no checking your email; just you and your friend. In today's technology-frenzied world, our lives are so full of things that if we don't multitask, we can't get everything done. Our lives are so loud - with to-do lists, homework assignments, reading assignments, projects, text messages to respond to, Facebook pictures to look through, Youtube videos to watch, and so many other things - that we completely tune out the still quiet whisper of God. All He wants is to spend time with you, to grow in a relationship with you, to heal your pain whether physical or emotional, to be the one that you eagerly turn to when something spectacular happens, to be the one that you turn to when you are sure that life couldn't get any worse. He is there waiting for you to hear Him, to turn off all the rest of the noises and just be with Him.

"Be still and know that I am God." ~ Psalm 46:10

"He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul." ~ Psalm 23:2-3

God, I want to be filled with your Spirit. I desire to have my life be different from when I first accepted you into my life. Help me to quiet my life so I can hear you whispering, leading me beside quiet waters and restoring my soul.